Day 2

I'm already having trouble with this writing thing. What does that say about the next 29 days?

Twice this year I have had the opportunity to do some public speaking.  One live and one on video.  Before I come back to that, I should say God and I talk about this subject ALL the time.

I love God with every fiber of my being.  I have loved HIM my entire life.  I don't remember a day of not knowing He's my Lord and Savior.  I have mostly always trusted Him and always had faith in Him.   I repeated have this conversation with Him about public speaking.  I dislike public speaking. I dislike getting up in front of a group of people and talking.  I used to dislike praying out loud, but God cured that one, by having me lead a women's Bible study group. Funny how that happens.

He has slowly been tearing down this fear of public speaking.  All the while I'm telling Him he's crazy, that surely there is someone else better suited for this job. I understand how Moses and Jonah felt.  Sigh.

 I have given my testimony at least 3 times, talked about Ryleigh on video once, but it played at church twice, talked about brokenness for Bible study twice and now got to talk about how much I love my church on video.

It might be getting easier.  Maybe I'm just not dragging my feet quite so long anymore.  Maybe I have finally given up that fact that I can't get out of this public speaking gig.  Maybe I haven't.  Maybe like Lazarus I have a story to tell about God's overwhelming love for me and His ability to sustain me through ALL of life's complications.

I will end with this quote I found in my notebook this morning.

"What lies behind us and before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

 I hope that what lies within me shines out at times.