Day 9

So, let's make today serious, especially in light of the fact I skipped 2 days. I'm slacking I know.

This might be another public speaking thing, only God knows that answer.

This starts back in Oct. 2000.  This was our first trip to Disney.  We loved it.  We said we would never take young kids there, but we did.  We always had to have a stroller- said I'd never do that either.  We took a 5,3 and 18 month old to Disney.  We did Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom and MGM I think. We had a blast.  We went to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party and we really enjoyed that.

      So, we went back at the same time of year and did the party again in 2004.  Then we had a 8,6 and 4 yr. old.  So much more fun.  We did Magic Kingdom and MGM studios.  Ryleigh sweet talked daddy out of a Belle costume for the Halloween party and it was such a fun time for all of us.  We did character meals and rode almost all the rides.  Ryleigh wasn't tall enough, so she couldn't ride Rockin Roller Coaster.  She was mad, especially when the boys rode it more than one time and she was stuck waiting outside the ride. Poor thing.

December 2005 came and we pretty much said we'd never go back.  How can you go back when your princess is in heaven?

     March 2012 comes along, and I could feel God steering me towards going on Mystery Tour with our youth group.  I knew in my heart I needed to know where we were going, before we left. One guess. You only need one guess, and I knew it before he told me. DISNEY. Really God? Really? Can't I be human for once and not face this? Apparently not, as they needed women to go and I could go.  Can you say freaked out? Way freaked out here.

      Off we went on the bus.  The first day there, we went to Downtown Disney.  Chrissy met me there and she and I had a great time catching up and hanging out.  The memories are flooding over you and you're standing in the middle of the princess costumes trying to figure out if you panic or hold your ground.  I wonder if there was a battle going on over my head, between good and evil.  To be strong and know you can do this with God's strength, or fall to the panic and voices telling you your weak and incapable. Sigh.

     The second day was Magic Kingdom. I am blessed that I was with Mike and I group of girls that had never been to Disney before.  This makes the memories easier to deal with, because you are watching the joy of first timers in Disney.  It was sad and many times I was deep breathing and praying I wouldn't sob in Disney. That would have been lovely. Not.  I didn't end up riding the Buzz ride.  I couldn't do it on my own.

     The third day was MGM, which is now called something else and I can't remember what it is.  This park I did on my own, kind of by accident, kind of on purpose.  I needed this time to heal, face those demons of that first time without your loved one.  Those moments suck by the way, just plain suck.  MGM has a new Toy story ride- this was a great ride and a good new memory to make.  Remember Rockin Roller Coaster?  I rode it.  The first time I cried. Poor lady next to me must have thought it was raining on her. LOL It's an inside roller coaster, in the dark, so no one knew I was crying.  Deep breath and I rode it again and then again.  The second and the third time were the times to ride it as healing and for the fun of the ride.  I truly love that ride and I needed to ride it once for Ryleigh and the rest for me.

      Here's the thing I survived and I did it while having fun.  It wasn't easy, and if I'd had my choice I would never have gone back.  God had other plans, and while I sometimes disagree with Him, I usually always follow His directions.  I drag my feet while doing it sometimes.  Did I learn anything? Not really.  Did I grow? Probably. Can't tell you how though.  It was a strong reminder that HE never leaves me and He always asks things of me in which I will survive, even if I don't like the request.  Who knows what His plan with it is, only He knows that.  He and I were in constant communication while I was gone.  I'm glad He puts up with me, because I'm bossy and weak.

     Gary thought I was crazy and he said he couldn't have done it, or ever would.  Maybe that's the point.  We always talk about God asking us to do things we think we'll never do.  Maybe that's the point to this. He's going to ask you to do things You don't want to do.  We have to have faith and step out and do the things God asks us to do.  We never know what comes from those moments, but they are very important.